I’m sitting here in my office at Sonrise Church in Hillsboro, Oregon with my first few minutes in six weeks to reflect on where I am and how I got here. This is also my first post from Hillsboro and my first post in a couple of months.

The decision to leave the road, we had been on for most of four years, was a hard one.  We loved the travel, the connections we had made with people from California to Kansas City and we loved the freedom to spend most of our time together enjoying a life of relative simplicity.

5 years ago the busy life we had known for 17 years came to an abrupt conclusion and, faced with an uncertain future, we decided to be the ones to control what we would do with our lives, not failure, fate or even finances.  So we sold everything we had, including our beautiful log home we had built ourselves, bought a fifth wheel and headed out to find ourselves, each other and a Father we knew had things to say to us, but Who was being drowned out by the system, our own fears and introspective self-doubt. 

Along the way we did find ears to hear, a new relationship with each other and a far greater sense of who we were as deeply loved children of a faithful, friendly and forgiving Father.  My other blog The View From the Juniper Tree chronicles both the travel and the revelation from those days on the road.

It wasn’t just a financial decision to leave the road, though that certainly was a big part of it.  Since we were not old enough to retire we were making our way on our savings, small jobs and the blessing of others and ultimately all were going to play out so we knew we needed to get back into the income producing world.

But if I was honest with myself, I was bored.  Don’t get me wrong, I had things to do and things that challenged me but I wasn’t growing, I wasn’t learning like I was when we first started the journey.  We had become part of several faith communities along the way, but even though we loved the people, there were things in some of them that left us wondering if there wasn’t yet more the Father had for us.

So, we decided to go back to Washington for the summer, hang with the kids and grandkids, work with Doug and see what the Father would do.  A few weeks earlier I had a contact from Sonrise Church in Hillsboro, Oregon about the potential of joining their staff, a contact that came because of a long ago meeting with a couple who currently were serving on the staff of Sonrise.  To be frank, I did not think it was viable for a whole lot of reasons, including no desire to be part of a big church in suburbia.  Then there was the reality that, if I could get over that hurdle, why would they be interested in a washed out, over the hill guy like me?

After a very unorthodox interviewing process and even more unorthodox hiring process that includes a 6 month dating period, against all odds the leadership of the church invited us to join them and in spite of a job description I felt inadequate to fulfill, a location where I wasn’t at all sure I wanted to live and a few other opportunities I thought could be “better” we just “knew” we were to accept their invitation and are now in the process of watching the Son rise in one of the most beautiful places you could ever land.

My position is Executive Pastor. Not sure where the title came from but my responsibilities are caring for everything that goes on at Sonrise except the weekend services.  I oversee the finances, the facilities and the staff, but thankfully there are really gifted and quality people who do the real work of the money and the buildings, and who join me in serving the staff.  I have spent a lot of time the last 6 weeks shoring up a wavering children’s ministry and plugging some leaks in the financial area of Sonrise and will begin to explore ways for us to stay in relational contact with a large and diverse group of people. In addition I get to speak some too.

My greatest joy, so far, is developing “fathering” relationships with the pastors who lead the various ministries of the church. I am the oldest and the most “seasoned” of the guys though they are all experienced and highly gifted as shepherds and creative leaders.  My challenge is to help them focus on relationships, not program management or number counting, to encourage them to be quality and quantity husbands and fathers and to spend the time necessary to craft a spiritual life with enough excess to flow over on to others.  But it is clearly not a one way mentoring relationship, they are already building a lot into me.  I like serving with all of the staff here and that makes all the changes worthwhile.

Since I really enjoy writing, I hope to blog a little more regularly than I have been, and continue updating my Facebook page throughout the day.  If you are ever in Oregon, we would love to see you. We are still in the 5er but will be moving to an apartment this fall.

Love having you with me on this new journey as we watch the Sonrise in our own hearts and in this community.

This will no doubt be my last posting from Washington as a resident of this great state.  I will miss being a Washingtonian, as I have lived here much longer than any other place, by far.  Since our immediate family will still be here, I know we will be back, regularly.

I am a worrier.  That is I worry about stuff, sometimes to the point of obsessiveness.  I come by it naturally, my mother was really good at it and always was worrying something to the point of sickness.  I am not proud of it at all and for years didn’t really think of my obsession with the “what ifs” of life as worry, I just considered myself to be careful, or a detail guy, or making sure I knew what was going on around me.

But the reality is I worry and in doing so I fail to trust my Father and negate the work of the Spirit as He seeks to lead and direct me.  Worry snuffs out the one thing the Father asks us to do besides respond to His love–trust Him.

Worry subtracts while trust adds. Matthew 6:27 says “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?”  Of course the obvious answer is no, it subtracts.  It steals time you can’t get back, ever.  Jesus thought worry was so destructive that He concludes His major teaching on what makes Kingdom people unique from those who don’t believe with a very strong statement about worry and why we shouldn’t bother.

If worry subtracts single moments then trust must add them.  I don’t even want to calculate the number of single moments I missed or at best was not fully present in because my mind was stuck on some “what if” scenario. 

I will turn 60 in a few days and I usually try to make some course corrections as I pass my birthdate.  This years course correction is all about trust.  One reality I have learned is that my inability to trust my Father with the details of life, makes it really hard to trust others, and that is not a good thing for anyone.  Trust is the glue for all relationships, including the one I long to have with my Father.  Without trust, I am really nothing more than a poser.

So, I am quietly and confidently going after some single moments these days.  Releasing my fears, believing my good Papa knows what is going on, has me in the palm of His hand, loves me passionately, sees beyond today, wants nothing but good for me and my family and so on. 

I already have added some single moments to my life as I walk in trust and I am certain that the more I lean into trusting my Father, the more of the lost ones He will give me back.

This is our last day on the bog in Kamilche.  Tomorrow we move out to Belfair State Park in northeastern Mason County to spend a week getting ourselves ready to move to Hillsboro, Oregon for our first permanent stop in nearly 4 years.  While we are very excited about the new position, a new start and all that goes with it, we are sad to see this lifestyle come to a close, at least for a few years.  We have enjoyed it very much and it will be hard to not return to the people and places we have come to love. 

Thought, (again mostly for me), I would write a little about some of the people who have made these last years so special. Some will have to be written about in a category because there are too many to mention everyone but here goes.

Bill and Leslee.  When there was no one else, they were there, especially for Linda.  As time went on we spent many days together, with our RV parked at their house.  We walked through some really dark days with them both the darkness of our disappointment but the even larger loss of their son, Willie.  We met and enjoyed time together in Arizona and so appreciate the special friends they are. (love all their kids too!)

Dennis and Diane. I needed a mentor, counselor, friend, brother, teacher and all the other things Dennis has become in my life.  He has listened, exhorted, prophesied, motivated, given a place to serve while all along the way prayed for us. He and Diane stepped up and provided a place of refuge for our kids when we couldn’t.  What a huge blessing they have been and are.

Doug.  There is no one person who has meant more to me than Doug.  Right from the start, 1600 days ago, he was beside me, in front of me, figuratively and literally, sometimes carrying me.  He was our rock in the middle of the storm and over time has become a great friend.  It is his place where our trailer is parked as I write this.  His wisdom, encouragement, counsel, but most of all his friendship, have made the last 1600 days possible.  It was through Doug that we got to know…

Todd and Leslie.  The day after Christmas 2005, Doug and Jeanee took us on a road trip to Idaho to spend a few days with Todd and Leslie.  What a blessing those few days were.  Todd is wise beyond his years and Leslie is such a great hostess.  We were cared for, loved on and for the first time in our lives prophetic words were spoken over us.  Words that held hope and created a future we thought was gone.  It was in Idaho that Todd first told us we needed to “go to Oklahoma”.

Steve and Keri.  Met these Australian friends while riding in a motor home, between Sacramento and Fresno, for a PBR event.  They were going through something similar to our journey and so we had a direct connection from the start.  Since Linda had not met them when I did, we went back to Sacramento to spend a few days with them later on.  Steve is a professional musician and led worship at our first Summit.  What a great gift they are to us.

Brooks and Stephanie.  Todd took us with him to several Professional Bull Riding events where we met Brooks and Steph.  Brooks led worship at the events and Steph just made everyone happy and blessed.  They picked us up in so many ways and spoke words of blessing and hope into us.  Brooks spoke something into my heart that helped me heal from my failure. While it took some time for me to live in it  his question “have you given Jesus your shame” released hope and freedom into my heart.  It was Brooks that was instrumental in a phone call I received a few months later from…

Andy.  I was helping Doug at the bog when my phone rang and the deep, heavily Oklahoma accented voice  said “this is Andy Taylor from Sayre, Oklahoma.  Andy went on to invite us to visit Sayre to see what God might do.  We had no desire to go out there but after talking to him, I knew we had to go.  I wrote about that story in my last post so will not repeat it here.  Andy taught us so much about the Father, about life in the Spirit, about what it means to walk in the prophetic.  Andy is Trinity and his personality and presence is everywhere and our time there would never have been what it was, without him.

Cody, Stacey, Charlie, Lorissa.  When we arrived in Sayre that first September these two couples and their families had just moved to Western Oklahoma from Arizona and Colorado respectively, to be part of the Trinity family.  Since we were all new, in one way or the other, we spent a lot of time together.  We ate countless meals together, prayed and worshipped together, learned Oki together, found our way together.  What an encouragement these four young friends were and are to us.  There are not enough words or time to write of the multiple ways they blessed us.  To say we miss them is not close to the loss we feel to not be with them.  There is no way we would have spent as many of the 1600 days in Oklahoma, if not for them. 

Buddy and Lynnie.  If Andy is the head of Trinity Fellowship, Buddy and Lynnie are the heart.  They care for the place as if it were their home.  They quietly go about their calling with happy hearts and kind actions.  Our friendship was such a special part of the Oklahoma experience.  Almost every Sunday we ate dinner together and several times we went to the city (Oklahoma City) for the day to do things we would never have ever experienced.  They taught us more about the western culture and Oklahoma then anyone else and through them we learned to love it.

Yandy and Bobbi.  Along the way the Father gave us spiritual sons and daughters.  These two and their daughters let us into their broken marriage and allowed us to speak life and healing.  They received our words (and other’s words) and did the things we suggested and today are living proof of what God can do.  Leading in a service of re-commitment of their wedding vows is a highlight of the 1600 days. We have great natural children (who are also our spiritual kids) but it was such a blessing, so far from home, to be given spiritual kids and grandkids to spend time with and build into and see it bear fruit.

Shannon and Alexis.  They blessed us with hospitality, friendship and with their kids.  It was just fun to be with them.  They gave good counsel, encouragement and an opportuntity for us to encourage their own growth in ministry.

Daryle, Carrie, Julie, Eric, Jenni, Dan, Kim, Shay, Lyle, David, Paul, Jason W, June, Kenny, Jill, Landon, Mary, Lee, Les, Donna, Charlie, Debbie, Jeff, April, Jason M, Ed, Stacey, Jack, Sharisa, Clay, Amy, Destry, Terri, Jeff R … Shouldn’t even start for fear of leaving someone out.  Shared some life with all of them.

Chuck and Nancy.  Along the way, we met Chuck and Nancy.  They live in Payson, Arizona and right from the start we were joined at the heart.  For several months, during two winters, we parked our trailer in their yard and joined them in their work and ministry. Together we launched the Rim Country Healing rooms and learned so much about the Father’s desire to see people well.  We did church together, worked together, travelled together and ate many wonderful meals together.  That one word “together” is so descriptive of the life we enjoyed with the Hallocks for probably 200 of the last 1600 days of our lives. It is easy to say we would not be who we have become without Chuck and Nancy’s investment in us.

Brooks and Melissa.  This young couple, along with their three children, came to Sayre for our first Summit all the way from Williams, Arizona.  Williams is a few miles outside the Grand Canyon in northern Arizona, where they raise cattle on over 100, 000 acres of high desert land. Over the 1600 days their family have became our spiritual children and grand children as well.  We have enjoyed several visits to their home, including parking our trailer in their yard for a few days.  Like some of the others mentioned, they have invited us into their lives, shared their hopes and dreams with us and allowed us to speak into their lives.  We have had front row seats on their launch of a new fellowship and encouraged them as they stepped into leadership roles they had never done before.  Through them we met many other great young families including Cameron and Devon, who spent a weekend with us, exploring how to grow their marriage into what the Father intended for them.  Watching them fly has been worth it all.

Tim, Janet and all the rest of the Rock Tribe from Kansas City,  Ray, Luis, Maria and the other El Paso family.  You have all blessed us so much.  My brother

Mike and Vicky. My brother and sister in law have been for us and sometimes with us along this journey.  We couldn’t have done it without them.

Traci, Brandon, Sloan, Sean, Eyob (and soon Pauli) Brad, Summer, Canyon, Sage and Haven.  How could we have ever done this without our natural children and grand children.  Their encouragement, willingness to let us be gone for months at a time and then to open their lives up to us when we came to spend weeks in their circle, has provided an anchor to always pull us back.  We are so proud of what they have done, are doing and will still do to advance the Kingdom and grateful the Father chose them to be part of us.  Having natural children who are also spiritual children is the high point of life.

If you have made it this far and not seen your name, please don’t take it personally.  My 60 year old memory is not what it should be at times.  As we move into the next season of our lives we carry you with us.  What you have all built into us through your words, love, actions, prayers, support have made us who we are and the new family in Hillsboro will be the ones to benefit from your investment in us.

With a very full heart I say thank you and may the Father bless you back.

In about two weeks, Linda and I will move south to Hillsboro, Oregon to begin a new ministry at Sonrise Church.  I couldn’t be more excited about the future and the opportunities the Father has placed in front of us.  Anticipating a new chapter being opened, has me spending a little time, looking back.

1600 days ago, Linda and I started a new life.  It was not my choice to begin something new and it for sure wasn’t her’s. How we got there is old news, confessed, repented of, forgiven and restored but it sure did change the life we had been living for nearly 30 years.

I am not so silly as to think there are a whole lot of people that need or want a synopsis of the last 1600 days but since we are turning a pretty significant page in a couple of weeks, I thought it would be fun to take another look at some of the places and people we have gotten to visit, and know during this journey.  If you want to dig deeper (can’t imagine who would want to do that) into these last 4.5 years you can visit my old blog and follow those days in greater detail. 

• Washington, Oregon, California, Idaho, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Texas.  While it isn’t nearly half of the states it is close to half the land mass of these United States.  We spent at least one night in 16 of the 50.  Biggest surprise? The beauty and diversity of this country. When you live in a place as beautiful as the Pacific Northwest it is hard to imagine anywhere else could be even close but there are some places…
• We camped in dozens of places through out the last 1600 days and my favorite spot, NOT in the Pacific Northwest or Wyoming, is probably between these two: Eagle View RV Resort in Fort McDowell, Arizona, we spent a lot of time there when we were in Arizona for the winter, and Orange Grove RV Park in Bakersfield, California.  We have been there 3 times and picking oranges from your RV window is pretty cool.
• If I were to choose my favorite place to camp anywhere we have ever been it is between two as well.  Sibley Lake in the Big Horn Mountains of Wyoming and Belfair State Park on Hood Canal in Mason County, Washington.  We have been both places multiple times over the years and over the last 1600 days and we never get tired of going either place.  The North Fork of the Tongue River in the Big Horn mountains is also my favorite place to fish.
• Where would we choose to live if not in the Northwest?  Probably Arizona, and not really because of the great weather there, though it is a huge draw.  Arizona is a whole lot more than the valley of the sun that holds the huge metropolitan area of Phoenix, Tempe and other cities.  Arizona has very rugged mountains and some beautiful mountain cities like Payson.  Payson reminds me of central Oregon and is nothing like the desert it looks down on, from 5000′.
• Oklahoma was a huge surprise.  When we were invited to visit Sayre, Oklahoma I could only shrug and ask why?  Why would I ever want to go to Oklahoma except to see the Sonics play basketball?  But the answer to the why question is very clear now and because of that Oklahoma will always be a special place to both of us.

Oklahoma is a beautiful state with miles and miles of shoreline around some very big and beautiful lakes.  It is a very modern state with more state pride than any other place we visited, except maybe Texas.

Of the 1600 days, more than a third were spent in the Sooner state, as part of the Trinity Fellowship family. Nothing about these last years would have been the same if we had not been part of Trinity and Oklahoma.  We learned about the cowboy/western culture and why it is such an important part of the cultural landscape of this country.  We became fluent in rodeo and met some of the greatest pro rodeo people on the planet.  We went to multiple rodeos in all kinds of places that featured little kids, high school students and the pros and it was something we will never forget.

But really, nothing about Oklahoma would have been what it is to us, if not for the people.  The people of Oklahoma, especially Western OK and Sayre, Elk City in particular were some of the greatest people we have ever met.  Genuinely friendly and helpful, they welcomed us into their lives and families.  Trinity Fellowship brought us right in to the center of the church and made us not only welcome, but part of everything they were doing, and in doing so blessed us again and again.  They gave us a beautiful place to park our trailer, they gave us meaningful work to do, they took us with them where ever they were going and taught us what it means for a church to be a family and more importantly taught us to relate to God as Father.  Ministry looks so different now, because of the days we spent at Trinity.

They also invested financial resources into us with no expectation of return and blessed us again and again when we were not sure how we were going to keep going.  I don’t know a number but there are literally dozens of people who live in Western Oklahoma that I can call family and an extended group of people all around the west who are part of our lives because of Trinity Fellowship. There is no way we would have ever experienced the healing our Father has brought into our lives apart from the wonderful, generous, loving people of Trinity Fellowship, Sayre, Oklahoma.

So much more to write about.  I guess this will be at least a multi-part post.  Next time I will introduce you to some people who have blessed our lives these last 1600 days.

Last summer, as we were preparing to leave Washington and head back to Oklahoma for the fall and Summit2, and very unsure of what we were going to do next, Linda and I both felt we heard clearly that our time in Oklahoma was ending and we were to “come home”.  Oklahoma had been a wonderful time for us, healing, restorative and freeing, and we became great friends with some really wonderful people, but it was not a good fit for us long-term or a place we felt we could put down roots.  At the same time, we knew we were at a point financially where we were going to need to make some changes. 

So we did our final season in Oklahoma and headed to Arizona for the winter, after spending a month or so in Washington.  We had a great time in Arizona, we love that state and could easily live there full-time, (especially in Payson, which is in the mountains and has great year round weather) but we kept sensing we were to come back to Washington and wait to see what God would do.  We left Arizona in March and spent the better part of a month getting back here, arriving just before Easter.

While we were in Arizona, February 25 to be exact, I received an email from a pastor friend, who we had interviewed 10 years ago, for a position in our old church in Shelton.  I had “randomly” sent Eric a resume, as I had many other friends and contacts and really didn’t expect anything. Eric’s email mentioned the possibilities of a position at Sonrise Church where he serves as a staff pastor.  I was pleased by the interest but really wasn’t optimistic it would be a viable option for us.

When we arrived in Washington I began working for our friend Doug, who owns a business mixing high-grade soil for gardens, lawns and nurseries.  He does deliveries for those who need it and he asked me to be the delivery guy.  Several times a day I load our dump trailer with soil and pull it with our pickup, delivering soil to all kinds of places over a three county area.  It is really fun and I am enjoying the challenge.  Every location is different and almost all of them have obstacles to back around to get the soil where they want it.

Somewhere along the way James, the Lead Pastor of Sonrise, called me and invited us to come for a visit.  Their process was very different from any I had ever been part of, but their goal was not just to see if I was qualified, they had already seen my resume and contacted initial references, what they wanted was to spend as much time as we could together to see if we were a good fit.

So, we went to Hillsboro, Oregon the week of April 12th and just spent time hanging out with the staff and talking about the things we thought were important, touring the buildings and the area, meeting with different leaders and enjoying the three weekend worship services.  It was mind changing in so many ways.  While the facilities are superb, modern, and located in a new area of high density housing and the high-tech companies that employ thousands in Hillsboro, the thing that caught our attention and ultimately sealed the deal for us was their strong commitment to the poor, disenfranchised and lost of the area.  Sonrise is a Kingdom advancing church and that is what we have been about and want to continue to be about. There was a lot to like about Sonrise but without this emphasis it would have been less attractive to us.

The next week I travelled by van with the pastors to Irvine, California to a conference.  20 hours going and coming in a van will either be a deal breaker or deal sealer and for all of us it was a time to see just how much our various strengths and weaknesses could work together.  Sonrise and Pastor James are committed to hiring people who have experienced failure and loss because those are the people they want their pastors to serve.  I fit right in. It was a very tiring and trying week but it was well worth the time and energy.

After another week of waiting, while the leaders checked secondary references, James called and offered us the position and we will begin in Hillsboro June 1.  There were many times, the last few years, when I wondered if anyone would ever give me another chance and  I am grateful for the trust the leaders of Sonrise have put in me.  It is as if I have come full circle, but I trust, better equipped to serve than ever before. 

The position title is Executive Pastor (not real sure why it is called that).  I will be responsible to care for the staff, especially the pastors and their families.  There are great people in place who are responsible for the facilities, scheduling and finances and I will oversee those people and their duties.  Along the way I am sure to find some teaching opportunities as well as backing up the Pastor from time to time in the weekend services.  It will be a huge challenge but I am excited to get started.

After holding some kind of employment since Paul was in third grade and teaching full-time for 16 years, as well as doing the heavy lifting on the small jobs we have had these last 3 years, Linda will not be employed, unless she wants to be.  This is a gift I am excited to give her and she is excited to receive.  I am sure she will stay busy but for the first time in a long time, she will be busy on her terms.

For the time being we will continue to live in our 5th wheel, until we can save a little money and discover just the right house in which to live during this next season. 

Thanks for reading.  Plan to write a little more regularly as we move into this new season of our lives.

Finally have a few minutes to write a few words to update you on a few things in our wonderful life.

I am listening, as I write, to an album I downloaded from iTunes, called Passion: Awakening.  Brad recommended it and he is seldom wrong on music choices.  It is still amazing to me that I can plug my iPod into my computer and in a very few minutes have fresh music to listen to. Thank you Lord for bright people who make life better through their inventions.

There are lots of reasons why I don’t write regularly and why I get in a groove and write several times a week.  The main one is of course, time.  I have been so blessed the last 4+ years with lots of time to read, think, process and then write about it.  The last few weeks we have been travelling, visiting family and now here in Mason County I am actually working at a job that doesn’t leave much time for reading, thinking, processing or writing.  For the first time in a long time, I am just like most of you who are reading this-working for a living. 

Our friend Doug has a soils business here on the property where our RV is parked.  He mixes a high grade garden mix and topsoil along with some products that are great at picking up environmentally toxic spills.  The garden mix and topsoil often need to be delivered and so that is my job.  I have done it before, when we have been here for an extended period, and I really like it.  This time of year is the busy season so I don’t have as much time to write as I would like.  When not delivering soil, I do other things to help Doug with his business. Not sure when this blog will be an option for me again.  Hope it will be soon.  I at least want to get the series on marriage finished as I am hoping to see it published in book form.

Even as we work here with Doug and minister along side Dennis and other friends here in the area we really desire to be back serving full time with a church Family.  Honestly, this is a big change for us, as we really did not think that was something we ever wanted to do.  But as time as passed we have found we miss the community that comes from being part of leading a Family all focused on the Kingdom.  There are some good possibilities that we are looking at, including some close to Mason County.  We appreciate your prayers in these things and want His will above all else.

If you are in the Mason/Thurston County area and have some time this coming Sunday evening, drop by the Senior Center in Shelton at 6 pm and join the Family of Rivers of Grace church.  I will be speaking and would love to see you. It is on the west end of Railroad Ave.

No, I am not still in Williams but this little parable I want to share took place in Williams so will pretend I wrote it there.

After my teaching on forgiveness and forbearance Saturday night, Ryan, one of the elders of the fellowship we were visiting, brought a lesson Sunday morning from 1Peter 3:7. In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives.  Treat her with understanding as you live together.  She may be the weaker vessel, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of life.  If you don’t treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard.  

After some good words on the last phrase about our prayer life being impacted by the way we honor our wives, or how understanding we are of her needs, he used some visual aids to help us understand what the point of the statement “she may be the weaker vessel” might be.

First, he took a very solid looking beer stein out of his bag and plopped it down on the coffee table.  It was a big mug, heavy and tough enough to take almost any kind of abuse from the one drinking from it.  He told us it was not that valuable and so wasn’t too worried about it breaking.

Then he removed a very fragile tea-cup from the cloth he had carefully wrapped it in.  It was a beautiful little cup, with delicate etching and a thin line of gold around the lip.  It was exquisite.  As he unwrapped it and carefully set it on the table next to the beer stein, he talked about how he would never treat these two cups the same way because the tiny tea-cup was a weaker vessel and needed to be treated much differently than the big stein.

The room was full of adults as well as many children and the point was easily grasped by all.  Our wives are to be honored and treated as the gift they are to us.  We are never to treat them roughly as if they were “one of the guys”.  We are to give them affection, understanding, protection, covering and love. 

It is not they are weaklings, but that they are weaker in physical strength and more delicate in emotion. Of course I am not suggesting women do not have more strength in lots of areas than their male counterparts, any male who has attended a birth knows better and a wife and mother’s ability to handle 10 things at once while caring for 3-4 babies is obviously a strength men know nothing about.

Please don’t allow the enemy to steal the point being made here by getting caught up in all the arguments about gender roles and differing giftings.  I think I can make most of them with anyone, but that is not the point.

This God delegated husband role of caring for and living with our wives in honor and understanding is because we are their covering and their protector and like that delicate little cup they are to be treated and cared for differently then we might one of the guys we hunt with.  We are not to break our wives hearts, destroy her destiny or abuse her in any way.  She is deserving of our very best.  That I think, is Peter’s point, and what Ryan was teaching us.

What happened next is what made the parable so poignant for all who were in the room, especially me.  Ryan handed that little cup to me, asked me to go to the kitchen, fill it with something Linda would like and serve it to her.  I gladly gave her this little gift with gratitude and affection because I could easily remember times when I had not protected her, honored her or gave her the understanding she was due as my “weaker vessel”.  During that short walk to deliver that beautiful little cup I recalled the time I had so dishonored her and broken her with my carelessness and unfaithfulness.  It was very moving for me.

Then it happened.  The thin little cup was unintentionally knocked to the floor and everyone in the room heard the tinkle of the delicate cup as it smashed to the floor and broke into dozens of irreplaceable pieces.  No one missed the graphic illustration of why as husbands, we are to treat our wives with such care and covering.  They are “delicate and irreplaceable” and easily destroyed by careless and thoughtless actions on the part of their husbands.

The silence in the room was palpable and as the tears flowed down my cheeks, I thanked my Father for His great grace that has allowed me more opportunities to honor my “weaker vessel” and with understanding bring her into her destiny.

Husbands, be very, very careful with your words.  Don’t  be controlling or attempt to manipulate her behavior. There is no excuse ever for abuse of any kind and of course be faithful in every way.  She is not your “beer stein” to be treated anyway you choose.  She is your “tea-cup,” designed by the Father, to be loved and cared for with understanding and honor.

At my previous blog, The View from the Juniper Tree, I would do a weekly journal of our life and travels called Monday Morning Meanderings.  I think I wrote nearly 100 meanderings as a way to update family and friends on our comings and goings, starts and stops.  Don’t plan to keep the M3 going but wanted to try to answer the question we often get: what are you up to these days?

Over the weekend, we travelled to Williams Arizona, which by the way is the Gateway to the Grand Canyon, to spend some time with our friends Brooks and Melissa and their 3 children, Bailee, Cole and Elli.  We also have some new friends there, Cameron and Devin and we were able to meet their children Tori, Brooklyn, Jace and Kadyn.  This was our fourth trip to this neat little town, in the northern mountains of Arizona, and along with these two families we have gotten to know several other families there as well.  Brooks had asked us if we would share some thoughts on marriage with several couples Saturday evening, and so we did.  It was great fun and I think we all learned some things together. What a great group of people the Father is knitting together in Williams.  No doubt we will be back.

After that great weekend in Williams we are back in Payson for one more week.  We are leaving Friday morning to begin a 3 week or so trip back to Washington.  We have an itinerary, but as always, we will leave some room for spontaneity.  Some of the high points will surely be: watching a spring training game or two at the Mariner’s spring training facility in Peoria, Arizona.  Visiting, we hope, with Kaylee, Rand and family and Bill and Leslee in Phoenix. Going to the dentist in Mexico (1/3 the cost of USA, hopefully not 1/3 the result). Visiting with Kasey and Tarah outside Santa Barbara, California.  Spending a weekend at Bethel Church in Redding.  Perhaps some extended family visits in Oregon as we head up The 5.  Of course we must have a few visits to In-and-Out along the way.

We are really ready to get going, though our time here in Payson, has really been great.  Chuck and Nancy are great hosts and great friends and we are connected at the heart so we will never be too far away.

For the first time in a long time we are headed back to Washington with no immediate plans to leave.  That doesn’t mean we won’t, it just means at this point we are going to make Washington our home base, rather than Oklahoma.  We were so blessed to have had the time in Oklahoma and so much of  life is different (and better) today because the Father took us there.  There are some really great friends there, as well.

But it is time to get back home, to be closer to our adult children and our grandchildren and to begin the next chapter of our lives.  Plans are still unfolding, but they will include some income producing work, serving the Father alongside some good friends, and being open to ministering to people where ever there are needs. 

Honestly, over these last 4 years, we never had much interest in returning to the place that once held so much pain, disappointment and shame. But as healing has come to us both, we are ready to spend more time in the most beautiful place on earth. 

After 20+ years Mason County, Washington has been my home 4 times longer than any other place I have ever lived, so what else can I call it, but home!  Besides, there are four adult children and soon to be 7 grandchildren who live within a short drive of where we will park the 5er.  11 reasons to call it home.

The Father has given us new friends and ministry partners there and so we look forward to what He has in mind.  Actually, we have spent almost as much time in Washington, over the last 4 years as we have any where else, so it is not that big of a deal that we will spend more of our time there.  Should be interesting.

As we know more we will let you know, here.  We plan to be back in Mason County sometime after the middle of March.

Will work on finishing the series on marriage over the next week or so.  Be blessed, friends!

If the Creator’s intention is for His highest creation to display His covenantal love to the world (and it is), we who are serious followers of Christ are called to take this marriage illustration from the natural level to the higher spiritual level.

Ephesians 5:24-27 As the ecclesia submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything.  And you husbands must love your wives in the same way Christ loved the ecclesia giving His life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and the Word.

I hesitate to even take on this subject because the beauty of these verses has been tainted by men who fear looking weak by loving sacrificially, wives who are afraid to submit to their men, for fear of losing their identity by submitting themselves to men who don’t understand what it is to pursue weakness as a sign of strength.  That convoluted statement is intentional, because our view of submission and sacrificial love has generally missed the point and become confusing, like that sentence.

These words of the Apostle Paul clearly show at least one thing that is important to the display of covenantal love through our marriages.  Jesus, our bridegroom is seeking change in His Bride.  He is seeking change into something beautiful, both morally and spiritually. His method for bringing about this change?  His life. 

The principle, then, of the natural speaking into the spiritual, tells us the goal of marriage is to bring needed moral and spiritual change to a husband and a wife and that change comes about when each chooses to rescue the other through grace.

First a word to the husband’s role in bringing change to his wife.  Husbands bear a responsibility for the moral and spiritual growth of their wives, so that overtime there will be change that will point to the Father’s love for His children.

3 observations related to this change and how it will come.

1. Husbands, you are to be LIKE Jesus but you are NOT Jesus. You are finite in strength while Jesus is infinite.  Your wisdom is fallible while His is infallible.  Husbands are not all-wise, not perfect.  My point is this; we will not get it right all the time as we seek to lead our wives into moral and spiritual change.  The major reason why submission works so poorly in our culture,  is because men often assume that simply because they are the man they have some infallible “Jesus like” ability, to be right.  Obviously not.

2. Godly husbands desire change in their wives to be conformity to Jesus, not conformity to them.  Our desire for our wives is measured, not by our preferences, but by the Creator’s standard of holiness.  Submission often goes awry because men want their wives to do it their way or be like them, rather than to do it the way of Christ and be like Him.  The goal of submission is not forcing the will of the husband but encouraging the will of Jesus.

The third observation is clearly the most demanding and important.

3.  Our Bridegroom brings about the change in His Bride in the only way that works.  He dies for Her.  This is the most radical Kingdom thing ever said or will ever be said about how a husband rescues his wife and leads her into conformity to Christ, through their covenant of love: he does not demand, he dies, he is never self-exalting but self-denying, compassionate rather than commanding.

If a husband is loving and wise like Jesus is toward His Bride, his desire for change in his wife will feel, to a humble wife like she is being served not humiliated, blessed rather than badgered, freed rather than forced. 

A husband being LIKE Jesus rather than attempting to BE Jesus is the key to a wife becoming all she is meant to be through the marriage relationship.

The way a wife brings change in her husband next time.  (hopefully there will be a next time!)

As I have studied marriage over the last several months, what has stood out to me, is the extreme value God places on it.  This high value is first seen in Genesis at the creation of woman (more on that subject in another post) and reaches its high point in the Apostle Paul’s connection of covenant love in marriage to the Bridegroom’s (Jesus) covenant love for His Bride, the ecclesia. (Ephesians 5)  In between, the Father places in His Book, Solomon’s Song of Songs as a picture of how desperately He loves us and the deep desire for intimacy He wants with us.  The coming together of a husband and wife in marriage is the Father’s highest and best illustration of His intention to love us beyond our wildest imaginations.  (I suggest it is the only illustration)

It appears to me, that the Father has staked it all on our marriages.  Marriage is the supreme illustration of His deep love for His highest creation.  If anyone is going to see the Creating Father’s love for them, by His design, they will see it best in marriage, your marriage, my marriage. 

Is it any wonder the lying, stealing, killing, destroying enemy has aligned much of his arsenal against our marriages?

This is why it is so critical that we pour as much grace on our marriages as we can.  The highest illustration of grace, as the choice to treat someone better than they deserve, is seen in Jesus taking our penalty on the cross.  When we live grace in the marriage relationship we are showing to others, who watch our lives, the Father’s deep love for them.  This is the point of marriage, this is the reason for our marriages.  There is no higher calling and no more difficult assignment.

But as the Apostle Paul also teaches us, grace is never an excuse to abuse another, to choose to go on behaving poorly in marriage, or to sin in the ways the enemy tempts us to, so as to destroy marriage.  (see Romans 6)

Grace is not just the power to endure, to forgive or to forbear.  Grace is not just the power to forgive or look past the sins of our spouse, it is also the power for our spouse to stop sinning. Grace is not just the power to return good for evil, it is also the power to do less evil!

Grace is not just the power to be forgiving and forbearing, grace is also the power for us to change so our spouse needs to be less forgiving and forbearing.  Grace will change us for the glory of Christ, but it must also change us for the glory of our spouse.

Every marriage, to be the kind of glorious picture of covenant love it is intended to be, needs forgiving and forbearing grace, but it is never an excuse for a spouse to continuing to blow off poor behavior as “it’s just the way I am”. 

Forgiving and forbearing grace is the environment for real change and it must come first.  Grace can never be couched in ultimatum; “if you don’t change…”.  Real grace is forgiving and forbearing even if the other does not change.  If I am to truly change broken behavior I must know that even if I don’t change I will continue to experience the grace I need to change. The removal of forgiveness and forbearance will never bring the change in someone that we seek.

Do you see it?  Am I describing it well enough?  Grace is an environment, a safe environment where we can bring forgiveness and forbearance to bear on our spouses broken behavior, but grace is also the environment where our spouse is free to stop the broken behavior.  One never happens without the other.

I can not use grace as an excuse to go on being a lousy husband but grace is the only true environment where I will find the freedom to stop my bad behavior.  When grace is applied as it is intended to be applied, we find freedom to be what we are supposed to be.  Sometimes it takes longer than we might like but restraining grace will not bring change.

In Ephesians 5 we find the pattern for living this kind of grace in marriage.  More to come.