Watching the Sonrise.

Hillsboro, Oregon

I’m sitting here in my office at Sonrise Church in Hillsboro, Oregon with my first few minutes in six weeks to reflect on where I am and how I got here. This is also my first post from Hillsboro and my first post in a couple of months.

The decision to leave the road, we had been on for most of four years, was a hard one.  We loved the travel, the connections we had made with people from California to Kansas City and we loved the freedom to spend most of our time together enjoying a life of relative simplicity.

5 years ago the busy life we had known for 17 years came to an abrupt conclusion and, faced with an uncertain future, we decided to be the ones to control what we would do with our lives, not failure, fate or even finances.  So we sold everything we had, including our beautiful log home we had built ourselves, bought a fifth wheel and headed out to find ourselves, each other and a Father we knew had things to say to us, but Who was being drowned out by the system, our own fears and introspective self-doubt. 

Along the way we did find ears to hear, a new relationship with each other and a far greater sense of who we were as deeply loved children of a faithful, friendly and forgiving Father.  My other blog The View From the Juniper Tree chronicles both the travel and the revelation from those days on the road.

It wasn’t just a financial decision to leave the road, though that certainly was a big part of it.  Since we were not old enough to retire we were making our way on our savings, small jobs and the blessing of others and ultimately all were going to play out so we knew we needed to get back into the income producing world.

But if I was honest with myself, I was bored.  Don’t get me wrong, I had things to do and things that challenged me but I wasn’t growing, I wasn’t learning like I was when we first started the journey.  We had become part of several faith communities along the way, but even though we loved the people, there were things in some of them that left us wondering if there wasn’t yet more the Father had for us.

So, we decided to go back to Washington for the summer, hang with the kids and grandkids, work with Doug and see what the Father would do.  A few weeks earlier I had a contact from Sonrise Church in Hillsboro, Oregon about the potential of joining their staff, a contact that came because of a long ago meeting with a couple who currently were serving on the staff of Sonrise.  To be frank, I did not think it was viable for a whole lot of reasons, including no desire to be part of a big church in suburbia.  Then there was the reality that, if I could get over that hurdle, why would they be interested in a washed out, over the hill guy like me?

After a very unorthodox interviewing process and even more unorthodox hiring process that includes a 6 month dating period, against all odds the leadership of the church invited us to join them and in spite of a job description I felt inadequate to fulfill, a location where I wasn’t at all sure I wanted to live and a few other opportunities I thought could be “better” we just “knew” we were to accept their invitation and are now in the process of watching the Son rise in one of the most beautiful places you could ever land.

My position is Executive Pastor. Not sure where the title came from but my responsibilities are caring for everything that goes on at Sonrise except the weekend services.  I oversee the finances, the facilities and the staff, but thankfully there are really gifted and quality people who do the real work of the money and the buildings, and who join me in serving the staff.  I have spent a lot of time the last 6 weeks shoring up a wavering children’s ministry and plugging some leaks in the financial area of Sonrise and will begin to explore ways for us to stay in relational contact with a large and diverse group of people. In addition I get to speak some too.

My greatest joy, so far, is developing “fathering” relationships with the pastors who lead the various ministries of the church. I am the oldest and the most “seasoned” of the guys though they are all experienced and highly gifted as shepherds and creative leaders.  My challenge is to help them focus on relationships, not program management or number counting, to encourage them to be quality and quantity husbands and fathers and to spend the time necessary to craft a spiritual life with enough excess to flow over on to others.  But it is clearly not a one way mentoring relationship, they are already building a lot into me.  I like serving with all of the staff here and that makes all the changes worthwhile.

Since I really enjoy writing, I hope to blog a little more regularly than I have been, and continue updating my Facebook page throughout the day.  If you are ever in Oregon, we would love to see you. We are still in the 5er but will be moving to an apartment this fall.

Love having you with me on this new journey as we watch the Sonrise in our own hearts and in this community.

Adding single moments to our lives.

Belfair State Park

This will no doubt be my last posting from Washington as a resident of this great state.  I will miss being a Washingtonian, as I have lived here much longer than any other place, by far.  Since our immediate family will still be here, I know we will be back, regularly.

I am a worrier.  That is I worry about stuff, sometimes to the point of obsessiveness.  I come by it naturally, my mother was really good at it and always was worrying something to the point of sickness.  I am not proud of it at all and for years didn’t really think of my obsession with the “what ifs” of life as worry, I just considered myself to be careful, or a detail guy, or making sure I knew what was going on around me.

But the reality is I worry and in doing so I fail to trust my Father and negate the work of the Spirit as He seeks to lead and direct me.  Worry snuffs out the one thing the Father asks us to do besides respond to His love–trust Him.

Worry subtracts while trust adds. Matthew 6:27 says “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?”  Of course the obvious answer is no, it subtracts.  It steals time you can’t get back, ever.  Jesus thought worry was so destructive that He concludes His major teaching on what makes Kingdom people unique from those who don’t believe with a very strong statement about worry and why we shouldn’t bother.

If worry subtracts single moments then trust must add them.  I don’t even want to calculate the number of single moments I missed or at best was not fully present in because my mind was stuck on some “what if” scenario. 

I will turn 60 in a few days and I usually try to make some course corrections as I pass my birthdate.  This years course correction is all about trust.  One reality I have learned is that my inability to trust my Father with the details of life, makes it really hard to trust others, and that is not a good thing for anyone.  Trust is the glue for all relationships, including the one I long to have with my Father.  Without trust, I am really nothing more than a poser.

So, I am quietly and confidently going after some single moments these days.  Releasing my fears, believing my good Papa knows what is going on, has me in the palm of His hand, loves me passionately, sees beyond today, wants nothing but good for me and my family and so on. 

I already have added some single moments to my life as I walk in trust and I am certain that the more I lean into trusting my Father, the more of the lost ones He will give me back.

The people of the last 1600 days.

Kamilche, Washington

This is our last day on the bog in Kamilche.  Tomorrow we move out to Belfair State Park in northeastern Mason County to spend a week getting ourselves ready to move to Hillsboro, Oregon for our first permanent stop in nearly 4 years.  While we are very excited about the new position, a new start and all that goes with it, we are sad to see this lifestyle come to a close, at least for a few years.  We have enjoyed it very much and it will be hard to not return to the people and places we have come to love. 

Thought, (again mostly for me), I would write a little about some of the people who have made these last years so special. Some will have to be written about in a category because there are too many to mention everyone but here goes.

Bill and Leslee.  When there was no one else, they were there, especially for Linda.  As time went on we spent many days together, with our RV parked at their house.  We walked through some really dark days with them both the darkness of our disappointment but the even larger loss of their son, Willie.  We met and enjoyed time together in Arizona and so appreciate the special friends they are. (love all their kids too!)

Dennis and Diane. I needed a mentor, counselor, friend, brother, teacher and all the other things Dennis has become in my life.  He has listened, exhorted, prophesied, motivated, given a place to serve while all along the way prayed for us. He and Diane stepped up and provided a place of refuge for our kids when we couldn’t.  What a huge blessing they have been and are.

Doug.  There is no one person who has meant more to me than Doug.  Right from the start, 1600 days ago, he was beside me, in front of me, figuratively and literally, sometimes carrying me.  He was our rock in the middle of the storm and over time has become a great friend.  It is his place where our trailer is parked as I write this.  His wisdom, encouragement, counsel, but most of all his friendship, have made the last 1600 days possible.  It was through Doug that we got to know…

Todd and Leslie.  The day after Christmas 2005, Doug and Jeanee took us on a road trip to Idaho to spend a few days with Todd and Leslie.  What a blessing those few days were.  Todd is wise beyond his years and Leslie is such a great hostess.  We were cared for, loved on and for the first time in our lives prophetic words were spoken over us.  Words that held hope and created a future we thought was gone.  It was in Idaho that Todd first told us we needed to “go to Oklahoma”.

Steve and Keri.  Met these Australian friends while riding in a motor home, between Sacramento and Fresno, for a PBR event.  They were going through something similar to our journey and so we had a direct connection from the start.  Since Linda had not met them when I did, we went back to Sacramento to spend a few days with them later on.  Steve is a professional musician and led worship at our first Summit.  What a great gift they are to us.

Brooks and Stephanie.  Todd took us with him to several Professional Bull Riding events where we met Brooks and Steph.  Brooks led worship at the events and Steph just made everyone happy and blessed.  They picked us up in so many ways and spoke words of blessing and hope into us.  Brooks spoke something into my heart that helped me heal from my failure. While it took some time for me to live in it  his question “have you given Jesus your shame” released hope and freedom into my heart.  It was Brooks that was instrumental in a phone call I received a few months later from…

Andy.  I was helping Doug at the bog when my phone rang and the deep, heavily Oklahoma accented voice  said “this is Andy Taylor from Sayre, Oklahoma.  Andy went on to invite us to visit Sayre to see what God might do.  We had no desire to go out there but after talking to him, I knew we had to go.  I wrote about that story in my last post so will not repeat it here.  Andy taught us so much about the Father, about life in the Spirit, about what it means to walk in the prophetic.  Andy is Trinity and his personality and presence is everywhere and our time there would never have been what it was, without him.

Cody, Stacey, Charlie, Lorissa.  When we arrived in Sayre that first September these two couples and their families had just moved to Western Oklahoma from Arizona and Colorado respectively, to be part of the Trinity family.  Since we were all new, in one way or the other, we spent a lot of time together.  We ate countless meals together, prayed and worshipped together, learned Oki together, found our way together.  What an encouragement these four young friends were and are to us.  There are not enough words or time to write of the multiple ways they blessed us.  To say we miss them is not close to the loss we feel to not be with them.  There is no way we would have spent as many of the 1600 days in Oklahoma, if not for them. 

Buddy and Lynnie.  If Andy is the head of Trinity Fellowship, Buddy and Lynnie are the heart.  They care for the place as if it were their home.  They quietly go about their calling with happy hearts and kind actions.  Our friendship was such a special part of the Oklahoma experience.  Almost every Sunday we ate dinner together and several times we went to the city (Oklahoma City) for the day to do things we would never have ever experienced.  They taught us more about the western culture and Oklahoma then anyone else and through them we learned to love it.

Yandy and Bobbi.  Along the way the Father gave us spiritual sons and daughters.  These two and their daughters let us into their broken marriage and allowed us to speak life and healing.  They received our words (and other’s words) and did the things we suggested and today are living proof of what God can do.  Leading in a service of re-commitment of their wedding vows is a highlight of the 1600 days. We have great natural children (who are also our spiritual kids) but it was such a blessing, so far from home, to be given spiritual kids and grandkids to spend time with and build into and see it bear fruit.

Shannon and Alexis.  They blessed us with hospitality, friendship and with their kids.  It was just fun to be with them.  They gave good counsel, encouragement and an opportuntity for us to encourage their own growth in ministry.

Daryle, Carrie, Julie, Eric, Jenni, Dan, Kim, Shay, Lyle, David, Paul, Jason W, June, Kenny, Jill, Landon, Mary, Lee, Les, Donna, Charlie, Debbie, Jeff, April, Jason M, Ed, Stacey, Jack, Sharisa, Clay, Amy, Destry, Terri, Jeff R … Shouldn’t even start for fear of leaving someone out.  Shared some life with all of them.

Chuck and Nancy.  Along the way, we met Chuck and Nancy.  They live in Payson, Arizona and right from the start we were joined at the heart.  For several months, during two winters, we parked our trailer in their yard and joined them in their work and ministry. Together we launched the Rim Country Healing rooms and learned so much about the Father’s desire to see people well.  We did church together, worked together, travelled together and ate many wonderful meals together.  That one word “together” is so descriptive of the life we enjoyed with the Hallocks for probably 200 of the last 1600 days of our lives. It is easy to say we would not be who we have become without Chuck and Nancy’s investment in us.

Brooks and Melissa.  This young couple, along with their three children, came to Sayre for our first Summit all the way from Williams, Arizona.  Williams is a few miles outside the Grand Canyon in northern Arizona, where they raise cattle on over 100, 000 acres of high desert land. Over the 1600 days their family have became our spiritual children and grand children as well.  We have enjoyed several visits to their home, including parking our trailer in their yard for a few days.  Like some of the others mentioned, they have invited us into their lives, shared their hopes and dreams with us and allowed us to speak into their lives.  We have had front row seats on their launch of a new fellowship and encouraged them as they stepped into leadership roles they had never done before.  Through them we met many other great young families including Cameron and Devon, who spent a weekend with us, exploring how to grow their marriage into what the Father intended for them.  Watching them fly has been worth it all.

Tim, Janet and all the rest of the Rock Tribe from Kansas City,  Ray, Luis, Maria and the other El Paso family.  You have all blessed us so much.  My brother

Mike and Vicky. My brother and sister in law have been for us and sometimes with us along this journey.  We couldn’t have done it without them.

Traci, Brandon, Sloan, Sean, Eyob (and soon Pauli) Brad, Summer, Canyon, Sage and Haven.  How could we have ever done this without our natural children and grand children.  Their encouragement, willingness to let us be gone for months at a time and then to open their lives up to us when we came to spend weeks in their circle, has provided an anchor to always pull us back.  We are so proud of what they have done, are doing and will still do to advance the Kingdom and grateful the Father chose them to be part of us.  Having natural children who are also spiritual children is the high point of life.

If you have made it this far and not seen your name, please don’t take it personally.  My 60 year old memory is not what it should be at times.  As we move into the next season of our lives we carry you with us.  What you have all built into us through your words, love, actions, prayers, support have made us who we are and the new family in Hillsboro will be the ones to benefit from your investment in us.

With a very full heart I say thank you and may the Father bless you back.

The last 1600 days.

Kamilche, Washington

In about two weeks, Linda and I will move south to Hillsboro, Oregon to begin a new ministry at Sonrise Church.  I couldn’t be more excited about the future and the opportunities the Father has placed in front of us.  Anticipating a new chapter being opened, has me spending a little time, looking back.

1600 days ago, Linda and I started a new life.  It was not my choice to begin something new and it for sure wasn’t her’s. How we got there is old news, confessed, repented of, forgiven and restored but it sure did change the life we had been living for nearly 30 years.

I am not so silly as to think there are a whole lot of people that need or want a synopsis of the last 1600 days but since we are turning a pretty significant page in a couple of weeks, I thought it would be fun to take another look at some of the places and people we have gotten to visit, and know during this journey.  If you want to dig deeper (can’t imagine who would want to do that) into these last 4.5 years you can visit my old blog and follow those days in greater detail. 

• Washington, Oregon, California, Idaho, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Texas.  While it isn’t nearly half of the states it is close to half the land mass of these United States.  We spent at least one night in 16 of the 50.  Biggest surprise? The beauty and diversity of this country. When you live in a place as beautiful as the Pacific Northwest it is hard to imagine anywhere else could be even close but there are some places…
• We camped in dozens of places through out the last 1600 days and my favorite spot, NOT in the Pacific Northwest or Wyoming, is probably between these two: Eagle View RV Resort in Fort McDowell, Arizona, we spent a lot of time there when we were in Arizona for the winter, and Orange Grove RV Park in Bakersfield, California.  We have been there 3 times and picking oranges from your RV window is pretty cool.
• If I were to choose my favorite place to camp anywhere we have ever been it is between two as well.  Sibley Lake in the Big Horn Mountains of Wyoming and Belfair State Park on Hood Canal in Mason County, Washington.  We have been both places multiple times over the years and over the last 1600 days and we never get tired of going either place.  The North Fork of the Tongue River in the Big Horn mountains is also my favorite place to fish.
• Where would we choose to live if not in the Northwest?  Probably Arizona, and not really because of the great weather there, though it is a huge draw.  Arizona is a whole lot more than the valley of the sun that holds the huge metropolitan area of Phoenix, Tempe and other cities.  Arizona has very rugged mountains and some beautiful mountain cities like Payson.  Payson reminds me of central Oregon and is nothing like the desert it looks down on, from 5000′.
• Oklahoma was a huge surprise.  When we were invited to visit Sayre, Oklahoma I could only shrug and ask why?  Why would I ever want to go to Oklahoma except to see the Sonics play basketball?  But the answer to the why question is very clear now and because of that Oklahoma will always be a special place to both of us.

Oklahoma is a beautiful state with miles and miles of shoreline around some very big and beautiful lakes.  It is a very modern state with more state pride than any other place we visited, except maybe Texas.

Of the 1600 days, more than a third were spent in the Sooner state, as part of the Trinity Fellowship family. Nothing about these last years would have been the same if we had not been part of Trinity and Oklahoma.  We learned about the cowboy/western culture and why it is such an important part of the cultural landscape of this country.  We became fluent in rodeo and met some of the greatest pro rodeo people on the planet.  We went to multiple rodeos in all kinds of places that featured little kids, high school students and the pros and it was something we will never forget.

But really, nothing about Oklahoma would have been what it is to us, if not for the people.  The people of Oklahoma, especially Western OK and Sayre, Elk City in particular were some of the greatest people we have ever met.  Genuinely friendly and helpful, they welcomed us into their lives and families.  Trinity Fellowship brought us right in to the center of the church and made us not only welcome, but part of everything they were doing, and in doing so blessed us again and again.  They gave us a beautiful place to park our trailer, they gave us meaningful work to do, they took us with them where ever they were going and taught us what it means for a church to be a family and more importantly taught us to relate to God as Father.  Ministry looks so different now, because of the days we spent at Trinity.

They also invested financial resources into us with no expectation of return and blessed us again and again when we were not sure how we were going to keep going.  I don’t know a number but there are literally dozens of people who live in Western Oklahoma that I can call family and an extended group of people all around the west who are part of our lives because of Trinity Fellowship. There is no way we would have ever experienced the healing our Father has brought into our lives apart from the wonderful, generous, loving people of Trinity Fellowship, Sayre, Oklahoma.

So much more to write about.  I guess this will be at least a multi-part post.  Next time I will introduce you to some people who have blessed our lives these last 1600 days.

The next season.

Kamilche, Washington

Last summer, as we were preparing to leave Washington and head back to Oklahoma for the fall and Summit2, and very unsure of what we were going to do next, Linda and I both felt we heard clearly that our time in Oklahoma was ending and we were to “come home”.  Oklahoma had been a wonderful time for us, healing, restorative and freeing, and we became great friends with some really wonderful people, but it was not a good fit for us long-term or a place we felt we could put down roots.  At the same time, we knew we were at a point financially where we were going to need to make some changes. 

So we did our final season in Oklahoma and headed to Arizona for the winter, after spending a month or so in Washington.  We had a great time in Arizona, we love that state and could easily live there full-time, (especially in Payson, which is in the mountains and has great year round weather) but we kept sensing we were to come back to Washington and wait to see what God would do.  We left Arizona in March and spent the better part of a month getting back here, arriving just before Easter.

While we were in Arizona, February 25 to be exact, I received an email from a pastor friend, who we had interviewed 10 years ago, for a position in our old church in Shelton.  I had “randomly” sent Eric a resume, as I had many other friends and contacts and really didn’t expect anything. Eric’s email mentioned the possibilities of a position at Sonrise Church where he serves as a staff pastor.  I was pleased by the interest but really wasn’t optimistic it would be a viable option for us.

When we arrived in Washington I began working for our friend Doug, who owns a business mixing high-grade soil for gardens, lawns and nurseries.  He does deliveries for those who need it and he asked me to be the delivery guy.  Several times a day I load our dump trailer with soil and pull it with our pickup, delivering soil to all kinds of places over a three county area.  It is really fun and I am enjoying the challenge.  Every location is different and almost all of them have obstacles to back around to get the soil where they want it.

Somewhere along the way James, the Lead Pastor of Sonrise, called me and invited us to come for a visit.  Their process was very different from any I had ever been part of, but their goal was not just to see if I was qualified, they had already seen my resume and contacted initial references, what they wanted was to spend as much time as we could together to see if we were a good fit.

So, we went to Hillsboro, Oregon the week of April 12th and just spent time hanging out with the staff and talking about the things we thought were important, touring the buildings and the area, meeting with different leaders and enjoying the three weekend worship services.  It was mind changing in so many ways.  While the facilities are superb, modern, and located in a new area of high density housing and the high-tech companies that employ thousands in Hillsboro, the thing that caught our attention and ultimately sealed the deal for us was their strong commitment to the poor, disenfranchised and lost of the area.  Sonrise is a Kingdom advancing church and that is what we have been about and want to continue to be about. There was a lot to like about Sonrise but without this emphasis it would have been less attractive to us.

The next week I travelled by van with the pastors to Irvine, California to a conference.  20 hours going and coming in a van will either be a deal breaker or deal sealer and for all of us it was a time to see just how much our various strengths and weaknesses could work together.  Sonrise and Pastor James are committed to hiring people who have experienced failure and loss because those are the people they want their pastors to serve.  I fit right in. It was a very tiring and trying week but it was well worth the time and energy.

After another week of waiting, while the leaders checked secondary references, James called and offered us the position and we will begin in Hillsboro June 1.  There were many times, the last few years, when I wondered if anyone would ever give me another chance and  I am grateful for the trust the leaders of Sonrise have put in me.  It is as if I have come full circle, but I trust, better equipped to serve than ever before. 

The position title is Executive Pastor (not real sure why it is called that).  I will be responsible to care for the staff, especially the pastors and their families.  There are great people in place who are responsible for the facilities, scheduling and finances and I will oversee those people and their duties.  Along the way I am sure to find some teaching opportunities as well as backing up the Pastor from time to time in the weekend services.  It will be a huge challenge but I am excited to get started.

After holding some kind of employment since Paul was in third grade and teaching full-time for 16 years, as well as doing the heavy lifting on the small jobs we have had these last 3 years, Linda will not be employed, unless she wants to be.  This is a gift I am excited to give her and she is excited to receive.  I am sure she will stay busy but for the first time in a long time, she will be busy on her terms.

For the time being we will continue to live in our 5th wheel, until we can save a little money and discover just the right house in which to live during this next season. 

Thanks for reading.  Plan to write a little more regularly as we move into this new season of our lives.